Game 3 recap vs Swan and Dolphin II

A win is a win is a win right?

The Bilge Rats took on Swan and Dolphin II last Thursday, and, to be perfectly honest nothing less than a mercy rule victory would be somewhat of a disappointment. Even since the beginning, I mean way back when the Bilge Rats started (last year) Swan and Dolphin II were the laughing stocks of the league. I guess it's because they are "II." The minor leagues of the Swan and Dolphin Team. The "Honk Kong Disneyland" of softball if you will. Hey, it's always nice to have another team, but if the bird flu wiped all of them out, you wouldn't miss them much.

Not to say the Rats were having a season for the ages, at just 1-2 they had already lost almost as many games as they were predicted to lose all (half) year long, but still,this was no match on paper. The Rats can hit, the Rats can field, the Rats can run. But the Rats have a nasty habit of blowing should be victories.

Now in this case it wasn't all of the Rats fault, the pitcher for Swan and Dolphin II was pitiful Absolutely pathetic. I would hate to come across the lowly, sad umpire who would actually think that his St. Louis Arch pitches were actually strikes...Except that I did come across said umpire, and he happened to call our game. It's no wonder he isn't umpiring, you know, any other league in the world.

These pitches were so bad that they would literally arc up and over the batters body. Impossible to hit even if you were stupid enough to swing. The only pitches the Bilge Rats hit were the "mistake" pitches that were low enough that any other umpire still would have called them a high ball. But all we heard that fateful night was "STRIKE!" This umpire couldn't spot a ball if he were at a gay nude beach.

Just look at one actual photograph from the game that was actually called a strike:

Yeah, it really was that bad. I mean this umpire was making some criminally bad calls. Now, I don't want to call for violence, but I do believe that if you see this umpire, you should immediately kill him. For this reason I have attached the following photo of him. Be on the lookout for:

So you can see we did have Lady luck against us. However the Rats hung tough, and had an early lead.

Well, if you've watched the rats you know where this is going right?

The Rats, up 5-3 in the 6th inning watched their lead vanish before their eyes. A 3 run barrage on a series of bloop singles and misplays left the Rats down 6-5. To the only team in the league without a win. Go us.

However the Rats finally started to get hits and Mike's double tied the game. Which was great, but it would have been even better had he not tried to go for 3rd. He was out. Oh well. Extra innings.

In extra innings in softball you get to start with a runner on 2nd. This is to make the game go faster. Because the people that write the rules are idiots and assume that softball, which commonly has football level scoring, needs an easier way to score runs. Well given a runner on 2nd, even Swan and Dolphin II could push another run across, and so we went into the home half of the 7th down 7-6.

Starting our half of the inning with Mike (the last out) on 2nd proved to be pretty easy to get him around. Lopa....Gosh I don't know what Lopa did. Actually I don't think it was Lopa at all. Let me think here for a minute...

Mike was on 2nd, and then there was this batter, and that batter got a hit to left field and I held Mike at 3rd base, and that batter got on 1st. Who the hell was that? Oh well the next batter was Jack and Jack, who later would strike out in coed slow pitch softball, actually ripped a double this time and brought the guy I can't remember over to 3rd for Thad.

This is really pathetic. Whoever this was represented the winning run, and I was the 3rd base coach, and I can't remember for the life of me who it was. But I remember everyone else. Every word. Thad came up and I was telling him just to make solid contact and a sac fly would score...the runner...old what's his face.

Well the Swalphins wanted nothing to do with Thad and so the pitcher decided to roll the ball up there. It was embarrassing. The umpire informed them if they wanted to make an intentional walk they just had to say so, and they did, and the bases were loaded. Thad later bragged that they were scared of him. Thad is an idiot.

The next batter was Dion, or Deon, or Dieon, or however you spell it. Well I don't claim to know everything he has ever done in his life, but I'm fairly sure that on the basis that he is 1.young and 2.employed by Disney at an extremely low rate, that this was the most important moment of his life. He ripped a single into left. I have vivid memories of Jack safely touching 3rd, and Thad safely touching 2nd, and watching D-on make it to 1st, and I know it is extremely likely that I followed the winning run into home to join in the celebration and the yelling, but I still haven't a clue as to who the runner actually was. Well, good game to you sir, you were an important part of a victory whomever you are. I hope you come back next game.

It wasn't pretty. But it counts the same. The Rats moved to 2-2, a .500 ball club, going into 2 off weeks where they can rest and regroup, and put the early season behind them with their heads above water and better things to come.

Provided they aren't laid off.

Game 3 Versus the elMVP Boys

It was the best of times, it was the God Damn Fucking worst of times.

My head hurts; I've had a migraine all day. There is no skin on my right knee and the blood is seeping through my pants so that they are sticking to my leg down by my shin, a shin that's by the way, bruised from a line drive in the first inning. I can feel it with every step since the soft cloth of my pants are too much pressure on it and cause it to throb with pain. It would have been worse if it were a direct hit. It wasn't, first it bounced of two fingers on my pitching hand instantly numbing them to the point where two hours later, I'm having trouble typing. I'm glad their numb. Every now and then I'll get a surge of feeling and it hurts enough that I can't wait for it to go numb again. I keep misspelling words because my fingers can't type correctly and I've got sand in my eyes. I can't get it out because I've got dirt all over me and everytime I wipe my eye more gets in. Maybe worst of all is that I grit my teeth in pain and hear myself crunch down on the dirt, and I can't even tell you how much that disgusts me. And all of this combined doesn't near the pain or misery of losing tonight.

My drive home was a blur. I remember snapping to about 8 miles up the road, and then again when I got off the Interstate. I arrived home and saw my girlfriend, and I smiled for the first time in a while and things started rushing back to me about how good my life actually is. I love my girlfriend, and my job, and my pets, and what I've done with myself, and what I've gotten accomplished, but those thoughts actually feel hollow right now because absolutely none of that helped us win that God Damn game.

Baseball, and by relation softball, is a funny thing. I'm a competitive guy; I'll admit. I want to win everything, and rarely do, and I'm actually O.K. with that. But it's like they say, baseball is like a woman. No matter what else is going on in your life there's nothing like the feeling of rounding first, feeling the pillow of the bag as you turn your ankle and dig for two. Going into the hole and backhanding a ball, even if they make it safely to first they were not going to get that ball by you. There's nothing like a single, a solid line drive that's a no doubter, that off the bat you know, and THEY know, is going to fall in. You've got first base and it's up to them to stop you from getting farther. You're thinking. Always thinking. Always planning, and when you're a step ahead you know it. You see the next play, you command the game. It's like you're watching it on repeat, and winning every bet, and then at the end, when you find out what you so knew to be true was all a lie, that she ran off with your best friend and you never thought it was a possibility, and then you've got to turn to him and say, "good game." and it doesn't matter what else is going on in your man, that's pain.

O.K. so we lost. 9-8. Gave up 4 runs in the final inning. First time we were losing all game. It sucks, but you'll go to your best friends wedding with your ex, and you'll bring a fucking hot date, and you'll absolutely crush that other team the next time out, and you know no matter what happened with that first girl, the groom is going to be looking at your new one the next time around. That's going to feel good. That's why we play the game.

Oh yeah, and Mendy his his first over the fence homer. Yay.